Remembrance and Forgiveness
by Leia Naberrie
Summary: Anakin Solo meets another Anakin! This story is really really mushy... Anakin Solo learns about himself, his family, about his heritage and destiny. R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Anakin Solo was a long way from home. He was starring through the cockpit of his ship at the deep hyperspace but his mind belonged elsewhere. His mind was in Coruscant with his father. They had hurt each other deeply, even past all those months after Chewie's death. His father had never really forgiven him, he now knew. Neither had he forgiven himself. He had parted with angry words and, worse than that, he had let his fear and rage take control of him. He had used those feelings to make him feel more powerful. He had accessed the power of the Dark Side.  
  
"Anakin, come back here!" he could still hear Han Solo's voice echo down the hall of his parent's house as he departed it. He was so full of anger and yet, so ashamed. He let all the anger take control of him and done what he wanted the most at that moment: pushed his father against the wall. He could still hear his father's body knocking against the far wall of the room with a thud and then collapsing on the floor. He didn't even look back. He felt his mother's surprise and then shock at finding his father there, probably unconscious. He could hear her voice through the Force, still calling for him, with a deep sorrow, until now. She must be suffering a lot.  
  
Anakin felt divided between his anger against his father, for being so stubborn and still blame him for Chewbacca's death and his own guilty for letting it happen. Couldn't Han believe him when he said he thought he had done the right thing?  
  
He felt drained. He was tired of all this. For months and months he had been feeling torn like this, pushed in different directions. A Jedi. That's was what he was supposed to be. That was what his uncle wanted him to be. He was powerful. He should be the best. A Jedi feels no passion. A Jedi doesn't crave for adventure. And where does his feelings belong in all this? He wasn't supposed to have feelings? Would he ever be able to hate someone? To be angry? His father was not being fair to him, why did he have to accept that and not complain about it? He recalled his uncle's words to him, many times over the years: 'Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to the Dark Side of the Force'.  
  
The truth is he was tired of being expected to do things. He was tired of living under this name. This forsaken name. It's as if everybody expected him to clean his grandfather's name. He almost hated his mother for naming him Anakin. Damn her! He pretended to understand her reasons but she didn't understand what it was like to live with that name every day, every minute of his life.  
  
Anyway, after bursting out of his parent's house, he had taken the ship and flown away. He didn't know where he was going but he had to leave. He shut his mind off and let his hands work the controls of the ship till he entered hyperspace. Therefore , he had no idea where he was. When he was finally aware of his surroundings and began to assess everything in the cockpit of the ship, he came across a book. Books were rarities in the Galaxy, what would it be doing there?  
  
He found himself now with the book in his hands and started assessing it. He soon found out it was a journal. And a very personal one. He was surprised to discover after reading a few lines that it had his mother's handwriting. From the dates in the first pages of it, he realised she must have been less than 20 years old when she started it. He was really curious about it but how did it come to be inside his ship? Could his mother have put it there? He didn't believe so. It was not her style. She was always direct and open about things. Perhaps it was the Force trying to show him something. 


	2. Chapter 2

Hello anybody who might be reading this! This is just to tell you that Leia's diary is between *, okay? Thanx! BTW, I'd appreaciate if anybody would review this!  
  
  
  
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*Hi! How do you address a journal? It wasn't my idea anyway. It was Winter's. I won this as a gift from her on my 18th birthday. This is silly, talking to a journal. But anyway, I should write about important stuff that happened to me right?  
  
Well, to begin with, I'm a Princess. Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan. I'm heir to the throne of this same planet and about to take my first official steps into Galactic Politics as Senator and representative of Alderaan in the Imperial Senate. I've been trained my whole life for this. Do I like it? It's not as if I have any other choice. It is as if I was born for it. My calling. My destiny. All this talk makes me nervous. I know I'm more than prepared for it but it's a huge step. I want to change things there you know. Call me naive, I don't care. Have you ever had that feeling that you were born to be special? Ok, I know I'm a Princess but it's more than that. I can feel it.  
  
In a month's time I'll leave Alderaan and go to Coruscant to take my place in the Senate. I think it'll be hard for me to gain their trust. I'm 18 after all. But I know how to do things my way. I'll show them.*  
  
  
  
Anakin read his mother's first addition to the journal. She was really excited about her career, he thought to himself with a smile. He suddenly realised how tired he was. He didn't know when was the last time he had taken a nap. He really ought to take some sleep before going....wherever he was going.  
  
Before closing his eyes, he thought about his family. His brother and sister must be really worried about him right now. They must be really scarred for him. He missed them. Before he knew it, he was deep asleep.  
  
And he dreamt. He was in a place... indescribable for human eyes. Only through the Force he could conceive it. He felt it was the place where time and space met. Where you were more one with the Force than never before. Then he saw: many faces at once, all of them familiar. Some of them, though he had never personally seen them, he instinctively knew who they were. Obi- Wan Kenobi, Yoda, Qui-Gon Jinn... It was so fast that the faces almost became a blur. Suddenly, they stopped. Only one face remained and now there was a body to go with it. It was a young man, in his twenties, not much older than Anakin himself. He wore old Jedi robes and he had a funny haircut (a thin braid that started somewhere around the back of his head and went about shoulder length). He had the same blue eyes that he had seen over and over when he looked himself in the mirror or whenever he starred at his uncle's face. He looked serene and wore a roguish smile, much like his own.  
  
"Hello, Anakin." The young man said.  
  
Anakin was still too stunned to find his voice. He finally managed to say "Hi... What...Where..." He looked helpless at the man before finally saying "What's this place? Who are you?"  
  
"Calm down, little one. Through the Force, all things are possible." The man calmly replied.  
  
"Am I dreaming?"  
  
"Sort of. When we dream, we let our conscious self relax, therefore we become closer to the Force."  
  
"Are you ever going to give me a straight answer?" he was starting to lose his temper.  
  
"You are truly your mother's son" the young man gave him a smile and then extended his hand "I'm Anakin Skywalker. Your grandfather." 


	3. Chpater 2

Anakin Solo had his mouth hanging opened. "Wha...How..."  
  
"How can I be here? I think I've already answered that question. Through the Force." He said with a patient smile. He turned serious again "I brought you here, Anakin, for a reason. I want to show you. I want you to learn."  
  
"Learn? Learn what?"  
  
"You see, we're all here for a reason. We live for a reason. We die for a reason." He let his words sink in and then continued "But I'm not here to talk. I'm here to show you."  
  
"Show me what?" Anakin was curious now.  
  
"Everything.Your family. Your heritage. You'll see your name's nothing to be afraid of. Fear leads to hate"  
  
"Hate leads to anger... I know, I know..."  
  
Anakin Skywalker laughed a little "Your uncle has taught you well. But you still have some problem with patience. So do I."  
  
"Sir, I"  
  
"Don't sir me, Anakin. I'm not much older than you, am I? You can call me Ani. That's what Pad...Your grandmother called me. And also my own mother."  
  
"Why do you look so young?"  
  
"I wanted you to see me like this. At this age I wasn't very different from you. And they were the happiest years of my life. Before the dark, that is." His eyes became darker somehow.  
  
"What was her name again?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"My grandmother"  
  
"Oh... Padmé. Padmé Amidala Naberrie. My angel" his eyes grew distant.  
  
"My mom says she has only a few memories of her. She says she was very beautiful"  
  
"Your mother looks a lot like her. Dark hair, dark eyes. Let me show you"  
  
Anakin soon found himself in some kind of shop. It was dusty and old. It looked like a junk shop.  
  
"Where am I, Ani?"  
  
"On Tatooine. That's where I grew up. Look" he pointed to the door.  
  
In came a tall man with shoulder length hair. Anakin recognised him somehow. He was Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master. There was also a young girl about his age, perhaps younger. Anakin was astonished with her beauty and how her eyes seemed wise above her years, just like his mother's. There was another being too and also a droid, which he knew it was his uncle's R2D2.  
  
"That's her isn't it ? And that's Artoo! How can that be?"  
  
Ani nodded "Yes, the very one." They turned their attention to the scene again as a little boy with blond hair entered the shop and sat himself "and that's me. I was 9." Time seemed to skip a bit and now Qui-Gon was gone with another being.  
  
Anakin heard his grandfather talking to Padmé "Are you an Angel?"... He noticed she had the most beautiful smile. He watched the whole scene diplayed in front of his eyes and was awed by it. The past was unfolding in front of his eyes. He saw his grandmother say goodbye to the boy and then they were alone again, him and his grandfather.  
  
"That's only the beginning, Anakin. There's much for you to see. But you must rest now."  
  
And then, everything went blank. 


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you all who have reviewd this and welcome! "*" is Leia's diary.  
  
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*There's no such thing as justice in the Galaxy. Oh, I'm so angry!!! How dare they? They're all corrupt, those senators. Impunity reigns everywhere now. I talked to my father today. I won't sit back safely here and watch while all this happens. I wanna do more, you know. I want to be more active against all the atrocities that are going on behind the curtains. I don't care if I die in the process but I want to make a difference. Sorry about my pessimism, I'm not usually like this.  
  
I had the strangest dream yesterday: I dreamt that a boy about my age was fighting a monster. In the dream, I can't see the boy's face and I don't think he's anybody I've met before. But it felt as I should recognise who he is. The monster was nothing more than a black shadow, without a form. The young man was fighting it with his bare hands. Sometimes it seemed like the shadow almost became a part of him but then he'd glow so bright that the shadow would hide away from him. Strange enough, I can't seem to remember how the dream ends. I wonder what it means though.*  
  
  
  
Anakin was amazed by what he had just read: his mother, without even knowing, had dreamt of her brother and the future. He felt so proud of her. At his age she was already so brave and done so much for the Galaxy! He couldn't picture himself doing the same stuff now as she did then.  
  
He had spent hours and hours now sat in his pilot's chair and reading his mother's journal. However, he knew that, as soon as he went asleep, he'd meet his grandfather again. And he'd show the most amazing things... He'd never forget his grandmother's smile and her eyes, so much like his mother's and Ani's eyes, so much like his own. He didn't know for sure if he wanted to talk to Ani again or not. He sure wanted to see the past again, but talking to his grandpa meant talking about himself. And of that, he was terrified  
  
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"Hi, grandpa." said Anakin when his grandfather finally showed up in the realm of dreams or wherever was that place.  
  
Twenty year old Anakin Skywalker laughed softly "Do I look like I'm your grandfather?"  
  
Anakin smiled "No, you don't" he made a face "This is all very weird."  
  
"Sure it is." he paused for a moment before adding "Anakin, what I have to show you from now on isn't going to be easy." His eyes had turned very serious and full of sorrow "For both of us."  
  
"All right. Listen, I was thinking" he looked at Ani to make sure he could go on "why are you showing all this to me? Why me? My mom and uncle Luke were always so curious about their heritage. Mom can't remember who her mother was, she has only a few memories of her and uncle Luke none at all. They deserved to know more than I do."  
  
"Yes, that's true. But they don't need to see as much as you do. I told you you're here to learn. And" he added "this is not over yet. Far from over."  
  
Ani waved his hand in front of him and now they were on a strange swampy planet. He could see a small hut and there was light inside it. Anakin heard a scream of pain and now they were inside the hut. There was a small bed to the side and a woman on it. His grandmother, Padmé. Holding her hand was Obi-wan Kenobi. Anakin looked at his face. That man had always been a legend. He looked worried, defeated. Yet, he could detect a sparkle in his eyes that could only mean one thing: hope. Master Yoda was also there. His eyes had a far away look in them as if he could see something others can't. He probably could. He turned back to Padmé again. Sweat dripped down her forehead and she held a sorrowful but yet determined face. She was lying on her back and her belly was huge, really huge.  
  
"She's giving birth" Anakin exclaimed and looked at Ani's face. The young man had tears in his eyes.  
  
"Yes" he whispered.  
  
"But why...Why here? In this planet? Are they hiding? From whom, the Emperor?"  
  
"This planet is called Dagobah. They are hiding. But not only from the Emperor. From me also. I had them all killed, Anakin. The Jedi." His eyes held so much regretting that it was almost unbearable to look at "But look, the twins are on their way" He almost had a fatherly smile on his face now. Almost. As if he didn't have the right to smile like that.  
  
He suddenly had a memory of his uncle and his mother arguing about who had been born first. From the dark hair on the first born baby's head, it had been his mother. He heard her grandma whisper "Leia..." and kissed the baby's tiny head. While Luke was on his way to his mother's arms as well, he heard Master Yoda say "Great leader will she be someday. And great Jedi will he be. Great things to do they are destined. Many trials are they going to be put through"  
  
Then he heard Obi-Wan say "Rest now, dear Queen. You deserve it." And he kissed her forehead with an almost brotherly affection.  
  
He looked at his grandfather. Tears flowed freely down his face. "This must be hard on you" Anakin stated.  
  
"Nobody said it'd be easy. But it's something I must do. Both of us."  
  
They took a look at the babies and their mother one last time before the swampy planet Dagobah gave place to another planet Anakin easily recognised: Tatooine. They were in the deep desert but near a house, or better yet, a farm.  
  
"Where are we now, Ani?"  
  
"The place where your uncle grew up. The Lars farm. It sure brings back memories." Memories of his mother.  
  
They could see now a silhouette in the distance. As they got closer, Anakin recognised his uncle, much younger, about Ani's age. He was gazing at the distance, at the sunset of Tatooine's two suns.  
  
"He was always a dreamer, your uncle. As well as an achiever." said Ani. 


	5. Chapter 5

*My father is worried sick about me but this is something I must do. It's probably the most dangerous mission I've ever been but some things need to be done. The Empire has gone too far this time. I don't think it's safe to tell the specifics here. I'll be gone in a few hours under the excuse that I'm on a diplomatic mission for Alderaan. There's a high chance that I'll get caught so I must brace myself for what's to come and whatever it is, I don't wanna think about it. It's weird to think that this is probably the last time I'll write something here. Strangely, I'm not afraid of dying. Why? Because I know what I've been fighting for. I know my purpose in life. I fight for what is good. I fight for justice. May the Force be with us all*.  
  
  
  
Anakin read the last line of his mother's post that day wondering what happened to her next. His mother rarely talked about those days. He knew that his father and his uncle had saved her from the Death Star and what else he knew, he knew from the history books at school. He knew that she'd had to make a choice between giving up the location of the hidden rebel base and the destruction of Alderaan. He knew very well how that ended up but what else happened there, while she was imprisoned, he knew very little. He guessed his father and his uncle knew very little either. She'd never talk about it.  
  
He looked at the book in his hands again. He searched for the next entry and saw that it was more than three standard months from the last one. And it didn't talk about the Death Star. He asked aloud because he was sure his grandfather was listening "What happened to her there, Ani? I think I'd better get some sleep, right?"  
  
"No need for that anymore, Anakin" Ani's shimmering form appeared to him "Just feel the Force" he got closer and extended his translucent right hand as if to touch Anakin's forehead. "Concentrate, young one. And brace your self for what's next"  
  
That statement sent a cold shiver down Anakin Solo's spine.  
  
His own ship was replaced by the deck of another ship, an old one. There were people everywhere and they had a desperate look in their faces. There were also soldiers in white armours that Anakin guessed must be stormtroopers and it seemed they had taken control over the entire ship by now. As him and his grandfather were standing there he heard a thud and saw a body crumpled on the floor. His breath got caught in his throat as he realised there was a black massive form beside it. A monster with a black cape and the most horrific mask. Anakin looked at Ani and saw the other man's stoic face become pale. He looked back at Darth Vader. It transpired one feeling that Anakin would never forget in his life time: pure terror. How could those two people, the one standing beside him and that monster, be the same person? He suddenly started to understand what his mother and uncle must have gone through. Why it took so long for his mother to accept this man, both of them, the man and the monster, as her father. And he knew there was much more to come.  
  
Then came a line of stormtroopers and Anakin could make out the shape of a young woman in a white gown, surrounded by them. He was finally able to take a look at her face and once again was stunned: it was his mother. She was very young and he couldn't help but say in a hushed voice "She's just like Jaina. And grandma." He wished his siblings were with him now. He looked again at his grandpa and he didn't think his grandfather ever listened to what he said. His eyes were lost in the scene in front of them.  
  
His attention got back to his mother. She must really have been no more than 19. Yet, she had those eyes that looked much older and wiser. She wore a determinate and defiant look on her face as if she'd be able to confront anything.  
  
The troopers took her to Vader. She gave him a vicious look and there wasn't the slightest shake in her voice when she said "Darth Vader...Only you would be so bold. Well, the Imperial Senate won't sit still for this. When they hear that you have attacked a diplomatic miss-"  
  
"Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. You aren't in any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you."  
  
It didn't really surprise Anakin that neither Vader's words nor his presence appeared to have any effect on his mother. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan"  
  
"You're part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor" his gaze went to a nearby officer "take her away."  
  
As the deck of the ship gave away to another environment Anakin couldn't help but say "That is my mother all right". He heard Ani's following whisper "What have I done? How could I have been so blind?" and wondered how could he have been so blind too. He guessed what was to come was much worse than that. Perhaps he was starting to understand. 


	6. Chapter 6

They were in the dark now. There was only a minimum of illumination provided, barely enough to see the black metal walls and the high ceiling overhead. "Where are we now?" asked Anakin. Ani pointed at one of the corners and backed up against the far wall was the single occupant of the tiny cell. His mother. Anakin started to move in her direction. She looked so helpless! Suddenly, a hum came from one end of the chamber and he stopped himself. He saw her start tensely. A metal door began moving aside and several Imperial Guards assumed their positions just outside the doorway. He saw her determined expression collapse as soon as a monstrous black form entered the room.  
  
Darth Vader made a gesture to someone outside. Something that hummed like a huge bee moved close and slipped inside the doorway. Anakin had never seen a machine like that. It hung suspended on the air, a farrago of instruments protruding from its sides. The arms were tipped with a multitude of delicate instruments. Both Leia and Anakin choked on their own breath at the sight of the machine. Her eyes held disbelief and his, pure terror. He looked hesitatingly at his grandfather "I...I don't think...I can't see this." He couldn't believe his eyes. "Please, grandpa..." He looked at his grandfather again and realised he wasn't being heard. Ani was completely frozen, he didn't move a muscle. His eyes starred at his daughter, in fear and also not believing. He had really done this.  
  
He'd have to go through this. He had to be brave for his mother too.  
  
"Now, Your Highness, we will discuss the location of the hidden rebel base" Darth Vader's resonating voice echoed through the tiny cell. Anakin couldn't contain himself anymore and started running towards his mother but was restrained by Anakin Skywalker, who said without taking his eyes off the scene "There's nothing you can do now. I'm sorry."  
  
The machine moved slowly towards her, travelling on a rising hum. Anakin's vision was blurred by his tears and desperation, his helplessness. Her screams penetrated his ears as well as the cell walls and thick doors.  
  
"NO! MOTHER!!!" Anakin Solo's strangled cry mingled with his own mother's as he advanced on his grandfather "HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN TO HER? YOU'RE A MONSTER!!!" He'd have realised he was back in his ship if he hadn't let his anger take over him. He finally collapsed on the floor, exhausted and in pain, sobbing. His mother's screams were still echoing in his ears. It'd probably go on forever.  
  
"Why are you doing this to me?" he whispered between sobs. His arms were now tight around his legs. He looked up at Ani "Why?" As no answer came, he added "To show me what a monster you were?"  
  
Tears streamed down his grandfather's ghostly form. "To show you what you can become." He paused "If you let your anger and hate control you."  
  
Somehow, Anakin managed to gather himself again. "How did things come to this? You tortured your own daughter!"  
  
"Once you go down the dark path, it forever dominates your destiny, Anakin. At first, it's more difficult but as time passes, things get easier. It gets easier to kill. To use the dark side."  
  
Anakin, exhausted, could only nod.  
  
"I'll leave you be now. You have a lot to think about." Before his grandfather disappeared, Anakin Solo managed to say "Are you leaving because of me or because you can't stand to look at my face right now because I remind you of everything you've done?"  
  
"Both. I cannot lie to you. This is my redemption too." And with that, he was gone. 


	7. Chapter 7

*I don't know how I managed to be alive right now but here I am. Actually, I know why I'm alive right now: thanks to a brave and kind farmboy and a scoundrel. I can't believe I was saved by these two most extraordinary counterparts. I was so certain I was gonna die till the last minute, when a trooper stormed into my cell, took off his helmet and said "I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you." It was almost surreal, I couldn't believe my eyes. And who the heck was that boy anyway? I only believed him when he said he was with the legendary General Obi-Wan Kenobi, whose help was my only hope. And his friend, Captain Han Solo. How unpleasant and arrogant! I can't stand being arround him for two minutes. He has an answer for everything and thinks so highly of himself. Ah, the nerve of him! As if he were somebody important. We're fighting for justice and freedom and all he can think about is his money.  
  
Meanwhile, people are dying. My people are all dead. Alderaan... My father... But I can't think of that now. I'll mourn for those who died when justice has finally prevailed.  
  
I arranged myself in fine clothes and put my hair in the most intricate style I could manage without help. I look at myself in the mirror and put myself in the most regal bearing. I can't help but think of my mother now. My real mother. She died when I was very young, I was three or four. I can't remember her clearly but I think I have her hair. She had the saddest eyes I've ever seen. They carried so much sadness, it's something I'll never forget. When I was at the prison cell, in the worst moments, I tried to think of her. It kept me from going insane, I guess. My father Bail never talked about her. Yet, sometimes he'd look at me and it was as if I could almost read his mind saying something like how I am like her. When I was little I wanted nothing more than to know as much as I could but he'd say someday he'd tell me all about her, when I was prepared. I think I'll never know now. Oh, how I'm gonna miss him.  
  
It's time I left. I must go to the celebrations. Today will probably go to History books. What will it be called? Probably the Battle of Yavin or something like that. Yet, we should call it Luke Skywalker day. He saved the rebellion, not only mine but thousands of lives. It was our first major victory against the Empire. And I'm still here to see the end of it.  
  
Luke Skywalker. I think we'll hear that name a lot from now on. May the Force be with him. And Han Solo. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Naturally, they became heroes. *  
  
  
  
Anakin Solo once more closed his mother's journal. He couldn't help but smile at her opinions of his father. He wondered what made her change her mind about him.  
  
His grandfather was right, he had a lot to think about. His mother's screams were still ringing in his ears, he doubted he'd ever forget them. And he could also hear Ani's words to him "To show you what you can become." How could he become a monster like that? And why was he being shown all that? Because of his name? What made him more apt for the Dark Side than one of his siblings? Jacen was the most calm of them all but Jaina had quite a temper. What made the difference between using the Dark Side or not? 


	8. Chapter 8

"So, what are you showing me now?" asked Anakin with sarcasm in his voice when his grandfather appeared to him again.  
  
"I think we should talk, Anakin. About you, that is."  
  
"What about me?" he wasn't about to give in easily.  
  
"Tell me. What's your life like?"  
  
"You must know. Aren't you one with the Force now?"  
  
"Yes, I am. But I want to listen to you. Tell me what it is like to live with your parents, your brother and sister. Your friends. Anything you want."  
  
Anakin sighed. His grandfather wouldn't give up on the subject. Now he knew where his mother had got her stubborn streak. "Do you really wanna talk about it?"  
  
"Sure I do." And with a nod, he added "Go ahead."  
  
"Well, for the first few years of my life I was secretly raised on a planet by my mother's confidante Winter. She practically raised me, Jacen and Jaina all by herself. My mom and dad would visit us often but not nearly enough. It had to be like this because the New Republic wasn't strong enough and had yet many enemies who knew we could be used against my mother, who is a key figure in Galactic politics. Therefore, we were hidden from public view. As you might imagine, I missed my parents terribly and till today we barely see each other because they're always busy trying to save the Galaxy from one or other threat." Here he paused as if collecting his thoughts "But soon I became old enough to understand why they had to do that. Then, we all went to live in Coruscant and when Jacen and Jaina turned 14, they went to uncle Luke's academy in Yavin 4 and I stayed all by myself with my parents. And threepio, of course" he smiled. "I missed them a lot, you know. I missed Jacen's silly jokes. I missed Jaina's witty remarks. I mostly kept to myself. I don't know, that's how I am. And when they'd come back home on vacations, they'd tell all those stories and adventures they had gone through. I longed so much to be with them. But we were never the same again after they left you know. Starting from the fact that they are twins and therefore, they're strongly bonded somehow. As much as I'm a part of the family, I always felt detached." He sighed. "And then, when it was my turn, I went to the Academy as well. I met people there. Tahiri." His eyes got lost for a few moments.  
  
"And who's Tahiri?" asked Ani with a smile on his face.  
  
That made Anakin come out of his reverie and blush as he answered "She's my best friend." He paused. "I miss her too."  
  
"Best friend, uh?" teased Ani.  
  
"Yes." Answered Anakin with annoyance "Anyway, it was when I got to the academy that my name really started bothering me. You-" He pointed accusingly at his grandfather "Started bothering me."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I don't know how it really started. Of course my mom had told me where I got my name from. Of course she told me she wanted to honour the good man you once were. I suspect she wanted to redeem herself too for all those years she spent hating you." He waited for his grandfather to have some reaction but as none came he continued "But what she didn't understand and I think she never expected was that people started expecting things from me too, you know. As if I had to redeem myself for your failures. My brother and sister, they have a burden to carry all right, because they are the son and daughter of two of the greatest heroes of the Galaxy but me? Not only that but everybody started looking at me as if expecting me to fail and fall to the Dark Side at any moment. And I started looking at myself as if it'd eventually happen to me too."  
  
"Have you ever talked to anybody about this? Your uncle, for instance."  
  
"Not really. But I suspect he knows how I feel. However it's not his style to start a conversation when the person concerned is not prepared to start it by herself. I think we're very much alike, uncle Luke and I. And that's another problem. I looked up at him since as far as I can remember. But I'm tired of that. I want to create an identity for myself. I don't wanna be Anakin Solo, son of Chief of State and Princess Leia Organa Solo and rebellion hero Han Solo. I don't wanna be Anakin Solo, nephew of the greatest Jedi of all times Master Luke Skywalker. I don't wanna be Anakin Solo, brother of the great Jedi Knight Jacen Solo and great Jedi Knight and pilot Lt. Jaina Solo. And most of all, I don't wanna be the grandson of Darth Vader, the most feared Sith Lord in the Galaxy."  
  
"Then, who do you wanna be, Anakin?"  
  
"I...I don't know. Can I change my name?" said Anakin with sadness and defeat in his voice.  
  
Ani laughed softly. "I don't think your mother would like that very much."  
  
"My mother. I was so angry at her for making me feel like this. For making me carry this burden. But after everything I've seen, it's confusing. And I got so angry at my dad too because of his blaming me for Chewie's death. I know it's my fault but-"  
  
"As I see it, Anakin, it wasn't your fault. And your father's not blaming you. He's just grieving."  
  
"That's not how I felt." Anakin said with bitterness.  
  
"Anyway, by this time, he must be feeling terrible for making you feel this way."  
  
"I don't know." He paused for a few moments and changed subject "So, now I said enough, don't you think? I want to see more. What happened? How did my dad and uncle Luke rescued my mom?"  
  
"Believe me, Anakin" Ani said as the ship gave place to another environment once more "there's much yet for you to see." 


	9. Chapter 9

A door slid aside and Anakin found himself again in the presence of his mother flanked by two armed guards, followed by Darth Vader. She still held that determined look on her face as she recognised an old and wrinkled man wearing an Imperial Uniform "Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I recognised you unique stench when I was brought on board."  
  
"Charming to the last," Tarkin declared in a fashion that suggested that he was anything but charmed as he held Leia's chin up in his hands. Anakin couldn't help but wince as that thing dared put his hands on his mother and went on "You don't know how hard I found to sign the order to terminate your life."  
  
"I'm surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself." She said eyeing him defiantly.  
  
"Princess Leia" the man began as he turned around "before your execution, I'd like you to be my guest at a small opening ceremony that will make this battle station fully operational. No star systems will dare oppose the Emperor now."  
  
And Anakin couldn't believe his eyes as the whole scene from his mother's past unfolded in front of him and his grandfather. Alderaan, his mother's home planet, was destroyed again. He searched his grandfather's face. Ani wore a determined, yet sorrowful, look on his face, much like his mother's own. Perhaps she and her father weren't so different after all.  
  
  
  
  
  
Leia Organa Solo woke up with a start. She had had the same dream again. It was the second time she dreamt of being aboard the Death Star, being threatened by Darth Vader and Governor Tarkin. She'd see herself being tortured and Alderaan being destroyed all over again. The difference was that in her dreams, she'd see herself there and also her son, Anakin. He was standing there, watching everything and horrified by what he saw. She could amost feel his anguish and helpelessness. She sensed another presence too, besides her son. She couldn't identify whom though.  
  
Leia sat on her bed, sweat dripped down her forehead and her breathing was still laboured from the nightmare. Han stirred in his sleep and slowly opened his eyes, mumbling "What's wrong, sweetheart?"  
  
"Nothing, Han. Go back to sleep." This didn't have the desired effect as it only contributed to make her husband even more worried. These last few days had been hell for all of them as they had been trying to locate their son's whereabouts unsuccessfully. They were almost having no sleep at all. He sat down on their bed and put his arms around her shoulders. "C'mon Leia, don't make this harder. Did you have a bad dream? About Anakin?" he eyed her worriedly.  
  
She sighed, defeated "Sort of. I dreamt I was aboard the Death Star again." She stopped talking.  
  
"And?" Han elicited from her.  
  
"And that's it." She answered sharply. "I was there, Vad... My father interrogated me and Alderaan was blown into pieces again. Isn't that enough?"  
  
He hugged her tighter "Calm down, Leia" He tried to soothe her. The dream must have really got into her as she was reacting so violently. "What about Anakin?"  
  
"I don't know why but in my dream he was watching everything." She paused for a few moments, thinking "We must find him, Han. Something's going on here."  
  
"Do you think he's in some kind of danger?" Han asked with dread. If something happened to Anakin, it'd be his fault. As Chewie's death had been.  
  
"Don't even go there, Han. I know what you're thinking. Whatever happens, don't blame yourself even more. Anakin is old enough to take responsibility for his actions." She frowned "I don't think he's in trouble though. But we must find him" she insisted. "I'm going to talk to Luke. Now."  
  
Leia disengaged herself from her husband's arms and went to the com to call her brother. Somehow, she knew she needed him. 


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you all for the reviews! Yes, Jaina and Jacen and everyone else are coming too, don't worry.  
  
I'll be away for a week and be back next Thursday! Happy New Year everyone!  
  
**************************************************************************** *****************  
  
  
  
I don't understand, Ani. A whole planet, destroyed and you did not do anything to prevent it? How?"Anakin glanced at his grandfather.  
  
"It's not that simple and you know it. And I'm not here to defend myself to you either. Nothing I may say will ever justify my actions. But that's not the point here. We're here because of you and not because of me."  
  
"I don't agree with that. If it weren't for you I wouldn't need to be here. We might as well start with you then." Anakin said defiantly.  
  
"True but not easy. As I told you, I want to show what you may become. And that's how it started for me too you see. Fear... Anger...An outburst here, another there...It seems harmless at first. You feel like you have the right to feel a bit angry at times. How selfish and arrogant I was. But that's not the problem. Of course we're allowed to feel. The thing is balance, Anakin. We must find balance. That's what I've found when it was almost too late. Through your uncle."  
  
"How was that?"  
  
"I'm gonna show you, don't worry. All in due time."  
  
"Then I still have to learn cause I can't understand how am I to achieve this balance."  
  
"Yes." Said Ani with a smile. "You still have to learn. A lot by the way" he smirked.  
  
  
  
  
  
"It must be the middle of the night on Coruscant. Is anything wrong Leia?" Luke Skywalker asked his sister in a concerned voice. "Is it Anakin?"  
  
"More or less, Luke. Sorry to disturb you. It's" she hesitated before saying "I've been having these dreams you know. They're getting to me."  
  
"What kind of dreams?"  
  
"Well, I'm in the Death Star again. I can see myself being interrogated by our father and then I see Alderaan being destroyed again but that's nothing new except perhaps because I've been dreaming about this after all these years. The thing is Anakin is there. He's seeing everything. And I can feel his feelings of fear and helplessness as if it were real." She sighed. "What could it mean?"  
  
"I don't know, Leia. Are there any leads to where he might be now?"  
  
"No...it's like he disappeared. But I'd know if anything had happened to him."  
  
"Yes, you would." Luke reassured her. "Do you want me to come down to Coruscant and help? We're sort of needing a break from Yavin anyway."  
  
"If you and Mara could come, it'd be great, Luke. I don't know why but I feel like we should be together now. Weird, uh?" She attempted a tired smile.  
  
"Not at all. We've been away from each other for too long, anyway. We'll arrive in two days, Coruscant time. Ok?"  
  
"All right. Thank you Luke. It'll be nice to see you and Mara again. Love you."  
  
"Love you too, sis." He was turning the com off when he said "And Leia? Don't worry. Anakin's fine. I know it."  
  
"I believe you." She answered gratefully. "May the Force be with you, Luke. Bye."  
  
  
  
  
  
Anakin Solo had a ration bar in one hand and his mother's journal on the other. He opened it randomly and read:  
  
*As exceptional as it might may sound, I had an awfully ordinary day today. *Laughs* I can't believe it. We're fugitives and outcasts in the middle of a galactic war and what did me, Luke and Han do today? We actually had a break. We played Sabbac all day long. Well, Han and Chewie played anyway. I and Luke stayed out of this. Mostly. I lost a few credits, hehe. It was incredible. No emergencies. No lives lost. I had a great time. Even Han wasn't acting like a scoundrel today. Actually, he was very nice. *  
  
Anakin had to stop to have a good laugh here. He couldn't believe his mother's early opinions of his father! And he noticed that these comments regarding him had gone on for quite a long time. It must have been really funny to see the two of them together. He wondered how they managed not to kill each other then. And it went on:  
  
*I have to aknowledge that he's ok sometimes. Why does he have to keep making all those stupid remarks? Why can't he be nicer and kinder? Like Luke, for example.  
  
Speaking of Luke, we spent most of the afternoon talking and it felt so good. Whenever we talk, it is like we've known each other our entire lives. We should be so different because of our backgrounds but yet, we're so similar in a way! It's like having a brother you know.  
  
We exchanged stories about our childhood today. I wondered how it'd have been to see him grow up. Such a dreamer! I wonder how Han might have been as a kid too. He must have been such a bully.  
  
Luke told me lots of stories from Tatooine. How he never knew his parents, how he was raised by his uncle. What was it like to be raised by him. He finally told me about his father. How he was a great Jedi Knight and a friend to General Kenobi and how he was betrayed and killed by Darth Vader. Whenever he comes to my mind, a shiver runs down my spine. A monster. The very personification of evil. Was that thing ever a man? Is there a man inside it? I hope with all my heart that he will somehow be defeated some day.  
  
I mostly listened to Luke and kept to myself. It was so good to listen to him. Han listened too (when he wasn't playing or picking on me like a kid). And he even told us some stories about him too as a kid. And that's something we rarely see him talking about. He always has something to say for everybody, except for himself. The man is a complete mistery. Whereas Luke is so open about everything. What a pair they make. Or better yet, what a trio we make.  
  
All in all, I had a wonderful day. I wonder if when we finally have peace, I'll feel like this. I hope so. * 


	11. Chapter 11

"It's good to see you again Leia" Luke remarked as he hugged his sister. Taking a look at her, he noticed the dark circles under her eyes.  
  
"I've missed you too, Luke. I'm glad you came." He nodded as she said that. They starred into each other's eyes,  
  
*you're not sleeping, are you, sis?* he asked through their bond.  
  
It was useless trying to lie to her brother, Leia mused. *No. I keep having the dreams. About the Death Star, our father, Alderaan, I'm worried about Anakin*  
  
*We'll find him, don't worry* he moved his hands to her shoulders and tried to comfort her.  
  
She gave a small smile to reassure she was all right and turned to her sister-in-law, who was greeting Han "Hi, Mara." The women hugged. She saw Han moving to greet her brother and added "So, shall we get in?"  
  
  
  
  
  
"How long have I been here anyway?" Anakin Solo called out aloud. His grandfather would probably be listening anyway. He wondered why he hadn't had the visions for a day now. Perhaps his grandfather was giving him some time to relax and meditate, after what he had had to witness.  
  
He seated himself in the pilot seat and started going through some data. They were charts. He wondered exactly where he was now. After studying the maps and consulting the ship's computer, he concluded he was somewhere in the mid-rim territories, the closest planet now would be Rodia. He sighed. He had thought he knew where he'd be going. His grandfather's appearance interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"You should go to Naboo, Anakin."  
  
"Naboo? Where is it?" He immediately looked for it on the chart.  
  
"It's your grandmother's home planet. She ruled the planet once."  
  
"Ruled the planet?" He was curious. "Why have I never heard of it before?"  
  
"For lots of reasons. Much of the past is waiting for you there, Anakin. Go to Naboo." And with that, he disappeared.  
  
Anakin sighed and set his ship's course for the mysterious planet of Naboo.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you" said his uncle as he took off his stormtrooper's helmet. Anakin could never have imagine that his uncle, the greatest Jedi Master of the New Republic, greatest war hero of all times could have been... a boy. He was almost laughing. Almost. If he didn't knew that the vision he was having now had actually happened. Although he knew that his uncle and his mother were twins, he looked much younger than she did. He had this naive look on his eyes. He wondered when his uncle lost his innocence. His father and mother had lost a long time ago, of that he was sure.  
  
His mother, father, uncle and -Chewie!- were in a hallway and the place was a mess. It was hard to see with the laser shots cutting through the air all the time. The Imperial soldiers were already walking their way into the detention block.  
  
Anakin managed to see his uncle yelling at a small transmitter unit and then he declared over the deafening roar of concentrated fire "There isn't any other way out!"  
  
To that his mother replied sarcastically "This is some rescue" she wouldn't make it any easier on them, Anakin mused with a smile. She was eyeing both men now with regal disapproval as she said "When you came in here, didn't you have a plan for getting out?"  
  
His father nodded toward Luke "He's the brain, sweetheart."  
  
How could they spend their time arguing in the middle of a battle? It was insane!  
  
His uncle managed an embarassed grin and shrugged helplessly. He turned to help return fire, but before he could do so, his mother had snatched the pistol from his hand.  
  
"Hey!" it was all Luke managed to say as she located a small grate nearby, pointed the pistol at it and fired.  
  
His father gazed at her in disbelief "What do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Somebody has to save our skins! Into the garbage chute, flyboy!"  
  
While the others looked at her in amazement -including Anakin- she jumped feet first into the opening and disappeared.  
  
"What? Is she crazy?" exclaimed Anakin.  
  
He heard his grandfather reply "That's how they avoided being captured. It actually worked" he smiled.  
  
"How did they get out?"  
  
"Look" They were in the hangar bay now.  
  
"The Millenium" Anakin whispered. The ship was leaving the bay at maximum speed.  
  
That's when he heard a loud beep and woke up to find out he had had the vision after he had slept in his pilot's chair. He realised what all the noise was about. He had come out of hyperspace. 


	12. Chapter 12

Once more, Leia was in the Death Star cell. This time, however, she didn't see herself, she was there in first person again. Anakin wasn't there either. She knew in her gut what moment was it- the moment Darth Vader entered with the interrogation droid. 'Why am I dreaming this over and over again?' she thought.  
  
She heard a noise and the heavy metal door opened to reveal, this time, another figure. A young man, in his twenties, tall, with broad shoulders. He had dark blond hair, in the same shade of Luke's and his eyes! He had Anakin's eyes, though they seemed haunted some way. He had a pleasant smile on his face as he approached her and said "Hello, Leia. I was eager to see you again."  
  
"Who are you?" It certainly wasn't Anakin, she thought to herself.  
  
"Yes, I'm Anakin all right." He picked up her thoughts. "But not the one you're thinking." He placed his right hand on her shoulder. "Hello, my daughter."  
  
She gasped "F...Father?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
They stayed for a few minutes like that, just starring at each other. So much had gone on between them. It had been a long way for her, from hatred, to acceptance, to love. She broke away the eye contact. It was too much to bear "What's happening, father? Why am I having all those dreams? Why is Anakin on them? Where's he?"  
  
"Calm down, child." He paused and took a deep breath "I'm here to explain to you everything. What's happening is my fault. In more than one way."  
  
Leia opened her mouth to argue but he interrupted her. "No, Leia, listen. Go to him. Go to Anakin. He's not in any kind of danger. Not physical danger anyway. He's on Naboo"  
  
"Naboo? You mean that mid-rim planet?" The name seemed more than familiar for her somehow. "Why is he there?"  
  
"Because that's where I told him to go. You should go to him. You, your husband, Luke, your children. He needs all of you. I must leave now. Don't worry, I'm taking care of him. He's fine."  
  
She had so much to say to him and, yet, she contented herself with nodding.  
  
He took a few steps back towards the door, turned back and said "Leia?"  
  
Her eyes raised to meet his "Yes?"  
  
"Did you ever forgive me? I mean, did you ever truly forgive Anakin for the things he did - I did - as Vader?"  
  
Her breath was caught in her throat when she whispered "I...I don't know....Father."  
  
"Tell your brother I love him for me, will you?"  
  
"I will" She only realised she had said these last words aloud and not in her dream when she heard Han's voice "Leia, sweetheart, wake up" as he gently shaked her.  
  
"Father" she whispered. She finally opened her eyes and leaned closer to her husband. Han hugged her tightly.  
  
"The same dream again?"  
  
"No, Han. Not a dream. He appeared to me." It was all she could manage.  
  
"Who? Anakin?" He asked worriedly.  
  
"Yes" she looked at his eyes "I mean, no. Not our son, Han. My father. He was so young..."  
  
"Your father?" he asked in disbelief. "What did he wanted?"  
  
"To tell me where Anakin is. He said we should go to him.  
  
That made Han's eyes widen "Where? Where's he?"  
  
"He said he's in a planet called Naboo."  
  
"Naboo? That's in the mid-rim, isn't it? What in the Galaxy would he be doing up there? Is he in some kind of trouble?"  
  
"Calm down, Han." She patted his arm. "He said Anakin is all right. It was him who asked our son to go there though I have no idea of the reason for that." Her eyes lost their focus for a few moments and she murmured "Yet, this name... Sounds like I should know this planet"  
  
"Don't worry, Leia. We'll leave Coruscant first thing in the morning." 


	13. Chapter 13

Thank you everyone for the feedback! Glad you like it!  
  
  
  
Haunted. That was the only word to describe what Anakin was seeing now. 'This planet is haunted' he thought. Thousands of voices and cries from the past invaded his mind as he went deeper into the ruins of what surely must have been a palace. An image came to his mind: the view he had had of the planet as he approached it. It actually looked like a forest. A rain forest, like Endor. Completely abandoned. As he got closer, he started seeing the ruins. The place he was about to land had actually been a city. And a marvellous one. He could see in his mind, through the Force, what it had been like. Huge, majestic, imposing. Beautiful.  
  
His mind stopped drifting as he got to a big room deeper in the palace. He concluded it must have been the throne room. Not even in Coruscant had he seen such a magnificent construction. The columns, the windows. Everything transpired magnificence and culture. 'Nubian culture' the walls whispered to him. Even in ruins, the palace transpired what it had been.  
  
"What happened to this place?" he wondered aloud. "Why am I here, Ani?"  
  
Surprisingly, this time, no answer came.  
  
  
  
Aboard the Millenium Falcon, Han and Mara silently left the cockpit so that Luke and Leia could talk.  
  
Luke glanced at his wife and gave her a thankful nod. "Leia?" He gave her a concerned look as he noticed how deep in her own thoughts she was.  
  
"Yes" she finally raised her head.  
  
"You still haven't told me how you know where Anakin is. Was it a vision?"  
  
"Kind of." She took a deep breath before responding "He came to me in my dreams."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Anakin...Skywalker, I mean. Our father" she explained.  
  
"He appeared to you?" he asked. His blue eyes looked surprised.  
  
"Yes, Luke. And this time, as a young man. He told me to go to Naboo. He told me Anakin needs me. Us."  
  
He looked carefully at her. "There's more, isn't there?"  
  
"Yes" she took his hands in her own before going on "He asked me to tell you he loves you."  
  
A small smile spread across his lips. "And that was all?"  
  
"Yes" she broke eye contact with him "No." She raised her eyes to looked at him again. "He asked me" she hesitated "he asked me if I've ever forgiven him for the things he did, Anakin did, he said, as Vader."  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"I told him the truth. I don't know."  
  
They were silent for some time.  
  
"Have you?" asked Leia finally.  
  
"Forgiven Vader?"  
  
"Yes. Have you?" she repeated.  
  
"No. I don't think so. And I don't think he has the right to ask that of us." He stated bitterly. This was very unusual for Luke, Leia thought.  
  
"You're probably right." She didn't sound very confident but decided it was better to drop the subject for now. "Did you manage to contact Jaina and Jacen?"  
  
"Yes. Both of them. Jaina was with the Rogues on a mission but said she'd be there and Jacen has already left Yavin"  
  
"Good." They went silent again.  
  
"What do you know of this planet, Naboo?" asked Luke.  
  
"Strangely, not much. From what I've gathered, an advanced society ruled by a monarchy used to inhabit it but then, sometime during the Empire years, something happened and the planet was abandoned." She was silent for a few minutes before concluding "Perhaps the Empire devastated it."  
  
"I wonder the reason for that."  
  
"As if any at all. It's the Empire we're talking about after all. What I wonder is why would our father tell Anakin to go there." Leia wondered aloud.  
  
"Is our father taking care of Anakin?"  
  
"Yes. That's what he said anyway"  
  
"From the state you told me Anakin was in when he left you and Han, I think I'm starting to understand some things here."  
  
"I know what you mean, Luke." 


	14. Chapter 14

*We've been through a lot together but I had never seen Luke like this. So empty. So disappointed. When I finally had him in my arms inside the Falcon, I almost cried for him. I could feel his disappointment. His hollowness. His eyes were so shocked, almost devoid of life. At that moment I couldn't care less if we would leave that blasted city alive. That day, I had lost the love of my life (whom I have FINALLY accepted after so many months of denial) and Luke... Lost his innocence. What happened during his fight with Vader? I don't think I'll ever know. I feel he will refuse to talk about it for a long time. But the light in his eyes... They're gone... It's almost scary. Where's that farmboy and rebel hero? My best friend? I hope he's in there somewhere. I hope he's not lost to me, to us.  
  
I wonder why Vader is so obsessed with him. Yes, obsessive. That's the only explanation for what happened.  
  
Which reminds me that before this whole situation happened, I had a dream. It was strange because I hadn't dreamt of her for so long... Since I was no more than a child, actually. I dreamt of the day my mother died. The strange thing is, I don't remember that clearly. I remember the sadness... I remember my father Bail's hands on my shoulder, gripping them tightly. I remember my resolve of not crying weakening. And I remember her words as well, before she died. She told me never to lose hope, never to give up, and to always believe that justice would prevail... But the details of the dream... They're always beyond my reach.  
  
I have to find my strength again. It's been difficult. With Han gone.... And we had finally managed to put our pride aside and share our feelings for each other! How stupid I am! Wasting all this time arguing against my own heart! And scarred... Yes, I admit it, I was terrified of my feelings for him. Yet, I wouldn't want it to have happened any other way. Still... I've lost him. But enough with self-pity, right? If Han read this, he'd have surely made one of his sarcastic remarks by now and have given me one of his grins.  
  
I hope Lando and Chewie will find him. Deep down, I know they will. I'm sure of it.  
  
I'll have to go and attend to Luke now. He's almost completely recovered by his injuries but I like being there for him. It keeps my mind busy.I also suspect he doesn't mind my being around as well. *  
  
  
  
Anakin was about to lose his patience. His grandfather had told him to come to this planet, on which he didn't feel comfortable at all and then he just disappeared. It had been almost two days now. He had wandered around the ruins, explored the place and found some amazing things but he didn't want to go far because he shouldn't stay away from his ship. He knew impatience was of the Dark Side and all but, well, what was he waiting for?  
  
At least he had his mother's journal. Would Ani show to him that day when his father was frozen in carbonite? Would he show his fight with uncle Luke? He wondered how hard seeing all those things again might be for his grandfather.  
  
He almost wished for Ani's return. If he weren't so patronising... He knew what he had to learn now as he knew before. That anger, fear and hate were of the dark side but that didn't make things easier.  
  
Ok... he admitted that that thought was downright stupid. His grandfather wouldn't go through all that trouble just to teach him something he already knew. So, it must be something much bigger than that, something he still hadn't seen. All right. He'd sit and wait. As if he had any other choice. 


	15. Chapter 15

Okay, so this is a little Mara/Leia scene, for those of you who like them. Thank you for the reviews!  
  
I have to explain something: this is a story I wrote about a year ago, that I decided to post it here, so apart from the Skywalker family, I can't add anymore characters, cause they're already written. Sorry!  
  
"Leia?" She had been daydreaming again as her thoughts were interrupted by Mara Jade Skywalker's entrance. After Luke had left, she had been alone in the cockpit. She was glad for that because she surely needed some space now. She had a lot to think about.  
  
"Hello, Mara" she gave her a small smile. "We haven't really talked since you arrived, have we?"  
  
"No, we haven't" the other woman replied. "Luke hasn't told me much but I'm worried about you." They had got closer those last few years due to several reasons. Their love for Luke, because of Jaina, who had been under Mara's tutoring and also, throughout Mara's illness and pregnancy, which Leia had given unconditional support. All in all, they had already been through a lot together and it had been good for both of them to have someone from the same gender to rely on.  
  
Some time passed before Leia answered "I'm fine, Mara." Under her sister-in- law's suspicious gaze, she replied "Really. It's just that those dreams... They sure bring back memories. They're troubling me with questions that I thought had been answered long ago. And now this... Going to a planet called Naboo. I feel I should know some thing about this planet, but, whatever it is, it keeps eluding me."  
  
It was a really rare for Leia to show her feelings like that, which got Mara even more worried.  
  
"Luke hasn't told me much. What were you dreaming of?"  
  
Leia told her about the dreams, or better yet, nightmares of her past. She concluded it by telling her about her father as well.  
  
"If he says Anakin's fine, Leia, than he must be ok" she assured Leia, her recently acquired mother's instinct kicking in. "What about Naboo? Why is it bothering you?"  
  
"I'm not sure. I have looked for information on it but there's not much. It apparently was ruled by a Monarchy and it was left abandoned and devastated during the Empire days but that was all I could come up with."  
  
"It's strange because I feel like I should know something about-" Mara Jade's eyes got unfocused as she interrupted her speech.  
  
"Mara? Are you all right?" Leia knew exactly what was happening as she got up from her seat and went to Mara's side. The Force was at work here and Mara was probably seeing something only she could see. Nevertheless, it worried Leia. Mara Jade, formerly known as the Emperor's Hand, despite all, still held many secrets about her past. It had been a long time though and Leia trusted this woman implicitly.  
  
It took her a few minutes to come back to reality. "I" she hesitated before continuing. A shadow passed through her eyes. Her shadowed past. Something that it was no more. "I remembered something." It took a few seconds for her to collect her thoughts. "The Emperor had just taken me as his apprentice, I was about 4 years old I think." Her eyes got lost in the past again. "I was standing in the throne room along with him. There was a transmission from Lord Vader." She hesitated again and looked up at Leia's face to be sure that she could go on. Leia nodded reassuringly "I remember it specially because it was the first time I had seen him. And I was glad he couldn't see me. Anyway, he asked Palpatine for permission to devastate a planet. Naboo. Palpatine asked him what was the purpose of destroying it, as it was his own home planet." Leia's eyes widened at this. "Yes, that's it. Naboo was the Emperor's home planet."  
  
Leia considered that for a few moments. "Why would Vader want to destroy it? What did he say?"  
  
"If I remember it correctly, he said that it was because he wanted to destroy his last tie to his past. That she should die along with that planet."  
  
"She?"  
  
"Do you think...?"  
  
"That it could also be my mother's planet? It would make sense, wouldn't it?"  
  
Mara nodded. "Yes, it would."  
  
They both took a few minutes to let that new knowledge sink in. Now she understood the reason for her father wanting her and Anakin to go there, however not fully.  
  
Leia hesitated a lot before changing the subject but she finally asked "I know you rarely talk about it, but I have to ask" she took a deep breath before going on "I mean, I've been thinking... How do you see things now? How was it to spend almost all your life under the service of that being and then suddenly learn that you've been wrong? That you've done a lot of wrong things?"  
  
That caught Mara off guard. People never asked her about such things, they knew it was a delicate issue for her and most of them thought better pretending it never happened. But this was Leia after all.  
  
"It's ok, Leia. I guess. I think about that sometimes. It's strange because after so many years... It almost seems like it was another life. I was so different. You see, I really believed in what I was doing. He trained me very well. I had no conscience as I had no concept of what was good and what was evil. I was the perfect soldier. I did what I was told. And thought a great deal of my job. The Emperor's Hand. How proud was I of that title" She snorted.  
  
"Do you feel guilty?" Leia asked, tentatively.  
  
"I know I should." She paused. "But I can't. Everything that happened to me made me what I am today."  
  
That put a completely new perspective to things, thought Leia. Something to think about.  
  
Suddenly, a noise interrupted them. They would be coming out of hyperspace shortly. Leia gave Mara a silent nod before saying "Thank you"  
  
"There's nothing to thank me for, Leia. I thank you. For everything." As an unusual display of affection which startled Leia, Mara gave her a quick hug before leaving the cockpit and calling both of their husbands. 


	16. Chapter 16

The view they had of the planet beneath them was breathtaking. Naboo was mainly constituted of water but the parts which were land were virtually green. Leia couldn't help but think of Alderaan. If this was their mother's home planet, she wondered how Vader could have destroyed it. When she and Mara had told Luke of what they suspected could be the truth, he only nodded and said "That's what the Force tells me. It's the truth, Leia. This is our mother's home planet." Since they left Coruscant and that she and Luke had had that talk, he had been more than quiet. He had been unusually quiet. Just like that day on Endor, when he had told her the truth and then wnet to confront their father and the Emperor. Something was bothering him. But they'd have to talk about that later. What mattered now was to find Anakin. Both of them.  
  
  
  
Anakin had so much in his mind at that moment. Yet, he was bored. He decided to read more of his mother's journal. He missed her. He missed them. His family. But he wasn't ready to face them yet. How could he ever come back after what he had done? 'Better not to worry about the future yet' he thought. At least that's what his uncle would say. His uncle. How would he ever be able to face HIM of all people. Why did everybody in his family have to be so great? Why couldn't he have an ordinary life with an ordinary family? He opened the diary angrily, at random.  
  
*HOW DARE HE???? The nerve of that man! I don't know how we could put up with him for that long!!! He makes me crazy like, let's say, all day long!!! What a nerf herder he is! How I hate him! He makes me so mad! He has no manners at all. I don't have words to describe how angry I am right now. How can a person thinks so high of himself? He has no respect for me. None at all. Why do I have to mind so much if he leaves or not? His only cares in the word are money and himself, anyway. I can't begin to understand him. He thinks he knows everything, he doesn't care about anybody. And that loapsided grin of his!!!! It always makes me feel like he knows something I don't! I could go on and on bragging about him, but I won't. I won't waste my time.  
  
I've been in hell for so many days now. In a frozen hell, anyway. We've set up a base in a cold planet (cold is an understatement) called Hoth. The planet is completely covered by ice.  
  
For days now, I've had this dreadful feeling that we're just waiting for the inevitable. I hate waiting!!! That's why I almost went crazy a couple of days ago. Luke and Han went on a recognition trip through the surroundings and Luke was severely injured by some ice creature. The fact that I had to wait the whole night for news of him and Han scarred me to death. Han went out again when Luke went missing. Thank the Force, Luke was brought back safely. Both of them. If something had happened to Luke I'd have freaked out. It's like, since we've been together, it's like the whole Alliance can't survive without him. I surely can't survive without him. And Han either. That scoundrel.  
  
Luke stayed under bacta treatment for 2 days. It was awful, he had so many scars on his face when they brought them back. I thought he'd be permanently scarred but he managed to recover just fine. And it was when he came out of bacta, that that awful man that calls himself Han Solo made me lose my temper. Urgh!!! I hate him. But I gave him a lesson all right.  
  
It was the most strange sensation when I kissed Luke. We've known for a couple of months that what we have is not at all like that, romantic. What we have goes much deeper, and we're the best of friends. It's almost as if we formed a bond of some sort. And that's why it was so strange to kiss him. Almost clumsy. It felt wrong, as if I was kissing my own brother or something. But it served to teach a few lessons to that scruffy looking man!!! *  
  
When he finished reading that entry, Anakin was almost laughing histerically. He could picture perfectly his mother and father quarrelling like two small children. He had witnessed that a lot over the years. And when he read that his mother had kissed his uncle. Urgh! That was irksome. Kiss her own brother? He hoped that it only happened once.  
  
Anakin suddenly looked up, surprised. He recognised a familiar Force signature in the distance. Actually, more than one. Three. His mother, uncle and aunt, at least, were coming for him. That thought sent shivers down his spine. After everything he had seen, after everything he had read of his family's past... How would he ever face them? What were they doing here anyway? How did they know he was here? And why here? He felt so small and insignificant at that moment. He could only sit and wait. And that was something he just hated doing. 


	17. Chapter 17

Anakin went outside the ruins of the palace when he heard the noise of the Millenium Falcon approaching the atmosphere. He was really nervous to meet them. He didn't know how he'd react. How they would react. His father... 'Better not to think about it' he thought. "Where are you when I need you, Ani?" he asked his grandfather.  
  
No reply came. "How typical" he said aloud. His father's ship was landing now. It brought back memories of that fateful day, on Sernpidal. He got closer to the landing spot and waited. The first one to get down the ramp was his uncle. He wore his usual serene expression on his face but beneath it, there was definitely something wrong about him. When he reached Anakin, he patted the young man on his back and smiled. Following him was aunt Mara. She gave him a small smile and tried to reach him through the Force, sending reassurance. She hugged him briefly. That made Anakin feel a bit more at ease, as if at least someone would be on his side and understood him.  
  
His breath was suddenly caught on his throat when he saw his mother. He had almost got used to seeing her as that young brave woman as she had been in the days of the war. It was as if he hadn't seen her for months now. Their eyes met and he could feel her sorrow and desperation through the Force. Desperation for him. Worry. She had dark circles under her eyes. 'This is all my fault' he thought. His mother sent back to him *No, Anakin. It's mine too.* She had tears in her eyes now as he finally let go of everything and ran to his mother's arms. it was as if she knew what he had been through later and understood. Perhaps she knew. How stupid he had been. They were hugging so tightly that they both collapsed to the ground.  
  
"Oh, Anakin" she murmured between sobs. When she regained some control over her emotions she said "We have so much to talk about"  
  
"I'm so sorry mom" he hugged her tighter. He was trying unsuccessfully to find the right words "I've seen...What I've seen..."  
  
"I know what you've seen... I can only imagine what you've been through..." She started to stand up again without letting go of him. He felt so small again, though he was quite tall for his age and much taller than her.  
  
"Anakin" he heard his father's voice behind his mother and felt a hand against his own, resting on his mother's shoulder. He raised his head to look up at the eyes of his father. He was certainly not the same man he had seen in his visions. Gone was that recklessness and arrogance from his face. Now, Han Solo looked like...Looked like a person in distraught. A worried father. He couldn't help but compare the young Han Solo with this one before his eyes. Who would have guessed?  
  
Anakin wanted his father to hug him really bad. He wanted nothing more than to be forgiven now. For everything. But there was too much between them still. They weren't ready for that yet. His mother caught on his thoughts and he could see sorrow in her eyes, which was quickly replaced by acceptance. They needed more time.  
  
So, he took one last look at his father before taking his mother's hand on his own and leading the way into the ruins of Theed Palace.  
  
  
  
  
  
The silence was becoming unbearable as everyone was lost in their own thoughts. Everyone, including Han, felt uncomfortable in the place. Anakin hadn't still let go of his mother's hands and decided that was all becoming too much for him to bear. "So, mom. As this is some kind of weird family reunion, where are Jacen and Jaina?"  
  
"They'll be arriving shortly." She paused and changed the subject "Do you know why you are here, Anakin?"  
  
"Not exactly. How did you know where to find me?" he asked as he glanced between his mother and uncle for a response.  
  
"Your grandfather. I've seen some of the things you've seen. I dreamt of you. And then your grandfather appeared to me and told me to come. All of us." She said in a most serious tone. She repeated the question "Do you know why this is all happening?"  
  
"I think so. I think Ani-"as he received some surprised glances he explained "that's how he told me to call him. Anyway, Ani wants to prevent history from repeating itself" he stated dryly. "Therefore, he's been showing me things...Images from the past." He glanced at his family. "Your past." There was pain in his eyes as he was reminded of his mother's pain. Of what she had been through. He avoided her eyes. "And also... I don't know how this got into my ship but I found this" he pulled the small leather notebook out of his backpack and placed it in his mother's hands.  
  
Her eyes widened in surprise as recognition downed on her. She whispered "My journal" she looked up at her son "But how?"  
  
"I don't know but I guess the Force had something to do with it. And grandpa too."  
  
"Anakin" interrupted Luke "Do you know why he chose this place?"  
  
"No. Do you?"  
  
"Yes." Replied Mara. "We think this is your grandmother's home planet."  
  
As Anakin was about to reply, a familiar form made its appearance in the former throne room. "Yes, Mara Jade. This used to be Theed Palace. Queen Amidala, later my wife, once ruled in this place." A tall twenty year-old man with blond hair and crystal blue eyes appeared in front of them. There was a loud thud as Leia let the diary fall from her hands and she whispered "Father..."  
  
With a wide smile which spread all over his face, Anakin Skywalker replied "Hello, Leia. My daughter. Hello, Luke, my son." 


End file.
